| bored.. |
[Dec. 19th, 2008|10:59 pm] |
Long survey. no cut. haha
"/" meaning kind of, half, sort of, sometimes, etc...
[ ] I think I'm really attractive.
[x] I prefer winter over summer.
[/] I am a geek.
[x] I am a shopaholic.
[/] I am reasonably intelligent.
[x] I am attracted to girls.
[x] I am attracted to boys.
[ ] I like British accents.
[ ] I smoke regularly.
[ ] I smoke socially.
[x] I drink socially.
[/] I drink regularly.
[x] I get drunk easily.
[ ] I do "drug(s)".
[x] I will never date a bad kisser.
[/] I've lied to avoid kissing them again.
[ ] I brush my hair at least 50 times a night.
[ ] I am religious.
[/] I am not religious but have morals.
[x] I lie frequently.
[/] I am impulsive.
[/] I am hardworking.
[ ] I loved Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind.
[ ] She's All That is one of my favourite movies.
[ ] I am good at History.
[x] I speak more than two languages.
[x] I enjoy taking pictures.
[x] I like spending money on myself.
[/] I like spending money on others.
[ ] I have a regular income.
[ ] earn money on a job-by-job basis.
[x] I pay my own bills.
[ ] I rely on my parents for money.
[ ] I can cook.
[ ] I enjoy cleaning.
[ ] Tidiness is a must in my life.
[ ] I like clutter.
[ ] My idea of good music is Britney Spears.
[x] I am fashion-conscious.
[x] I have good taste.
[x] People tell me I have good taste.
[x] I am told I have yet to fulfill my potential.
[ ] I am good at sports.
[ ] I am good at certain sports.
[x] I couldn't do sports to save my life.
[/] I am creative.
[ ] I am extremely artistically inclined.
[ ] I want to be an artist when I grow up.
[ ] I want to be an engineer when I grow up.
[ ] I eat when I'm upset.
[ ] I cannot adapt to change.
[ ] I am interested in politics.
[x] I have shoplifted.
[x] I download MP3s.
[x] I have done underage drinking.
[ ] I have gone underage clubbing.
[/] I can dance reasonably well.
[ ] I can dance extremely well.
[ ] I dance like a cardboard gorilla.
[ ] I can sing.
[x] I sing like someone stepped on my foot.
[x] I can swim.
[x] I enjoy surveys.
[x] I enjoy surveys when I'm bored.
[x] I keep a journal.
[ ] My teachers don't like me.
[x] I enjoy controversy.
[x] I can be a bitch/bastard.
[?] I have a thing for bad boys/girls.
[x] I have tattoos.
[ ] I've been in a nudist colony.
[ ] I'm not sure if I want to have children.
[x] I'm not sure if I'll get married.
[ ] I would love to get married someday.
[ ] I know who I will marry.
[x] Someone has a crush on me.
[x] I am interesting.
[x] I am a good liar.
[?] People enjoy talking to me.
[x] I annoy people from time to time.
[ ] I am a born leader.
[ ] I am a born leader but shouldn't lead.
[x] I've snuck out of the house.
[ ] I enjoy felching
[ ] I have a foot fetish.
[x] I have a shoe fetish
[ ] I watch Sex And The City.
[x] I don't think Sarah Jessica Parker is pretty.
[ ] I want to be J Lo.
[ ] I cut myself.
[x] I have cut myself.
[x] I hate people who pretend to be suicidal.
[x] I hate popular people.
[ ] I think cheerleading is a sport.
[/] I am photogenic.
[ ] I live in Chucks.
[?] I think graffiti is art.
[ ] I have dated a criminal.
[ ] I have been cheated on.
[x] I have cheated on someone.
[x] I have a temper.
[x] I like playgrounds.
[ ] I dance in the rain.
[ ] I am obsessed with Shakespeare.
[ ] I have tanlines.
[ ] My favourite color is pink.
[x] My favourite color is black.
[ ] I would classify myself as emo.
[ ] I am musically inclined.
[x] I like listening to music.
[/] I like music-blasting cars.
[/] Thongs are comfortable.
[ ] I like flip-flops.
[x] I know what monogamy is.
[x] ... and I believe in it.
[ ] I want to be a social worker when I grow up.
[x] I have sibling[s].
[/] My siblings annoy me
[ ] I think South Park is funny.
[/] I like Google.
[x] I can sit Indian Style.
[ ] I own a cat.
[ ] I plan on owning more.
[/] I read a lot.
[x] I've cheated on a test.
[x] I've let someone cheat off of me on a test
Have you ever...
[x] been drunk.
[ ] smoked pot.
[x] kissed someone.
[x] rode in a taxi.
[ ] been dumped.
[x] shoplifted.
[ ] been fired.
[x] been in a fist fight.
[?] broken a bone
[ ] got hit by a car.
[x] snuck out of your parent's house.
[ ] been arrested.
[x] gone in a mosh pit.
[x] stolen something from your school.
[ ] celebrated new years in times square.
[ ] went on a blind date.
[x] lied to a friend.
[ ] had a crush on a teacher.
[ ] celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans.
[ ] been to europe.
[x] skipped school.
[x] thrown up from drinking.
[ ] lost your sibling.
[x] played 'clue'.
[x] had a sleepover party.
[x] went ice skating.
[x] cheated on a bf/gf.
[ ] been cheated on.
[ ] had your tonsils out.
[ ] had a car.
[ ] totalled a car.
DO YOU ...
[/] feel loved.
[x] feel lonely.
[/] feel happy.
[x] hate yourself.
[/] think you're attractive.
[x] have a dog.
[ ] have your own room.
[ ] listen to Hawaiian Music
[ ] listen to underground hip hop
[/] listen to rap.
[x] listen to rock.
[ ] listen to country.
[ ] listen to reggae.
[x] listen to techno.
[x] have hobbies
[x] have more than 1 best friend.
[x] get good grades
[/] play an instrument.
[x] have slippers
[ ] wear boxers
[x] wear black eyeliner.
[x] like the color blue.
[/] like the color pink.
[x] like to read.
[x] like to write.
[/] have long hair.
[/] have short hair.
[x] have a cell phone.
[x] have a laptop.
[ ] have a pager.
ARE YOU ...
[x] ugly.
[x] pretty.
[x] okay.
[x] Handsome.
[x] bored.
[/] happy.
[x] bilingual.
[ ] Hawaiian.
[ ] Samoan.
[ ] Filipino.
[ ] Korean.
[ ] British.
[ ] white.
[ ] black.
[ ] mexican.
[x] asian.
[x] short.
[ ] tall.
[x] realistic.
[x] sick.
[x] mad.
[x] lazy.
[x] single.
[x] taken.
[x] looking.
[x] not looking.
[ ] talking to someone.
[x] IMing someone.
[ ] scared to die.
[ ] horny.
[x] tired.
[ ] sleepy.
[x] annoyed.
[/] hungry.
[/] thirsty.
[ ] on the phone.
[x] in your room.
[/] drinking something.
[ ] eating something.
[x] in your pjs.
[x] ticklish.
[x] listening to music. |
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| ahahahaha |
[Sep. 23rd, 2008|10:51 pm] |
Wow... been long long time!
I feel like writing.
I feel like I have something to say, but...I don't know what I have to say. So typical.
I really want to fucking make things. Not only clothes, but ...hair pieces. Oh yes..I love hair pieces... I need to buy a new wig though. So I can play around with it. (;-;)
I need an endless amount of money to make all things I'd like to make. Ughhhh.. but I really do want to buy a wig and some hair accessories and make awesome hair pieces... yes. I think I will do that. It's funny how the style of hair that I would like to make does not match the clothing style that I would like to do right now. Oh well. That's me, I always just mix up different styles and go with it.
And I love it.
I also really need to rip my GLAY CDs on to my computer. I have so many that I have to do it... it makes me not want to do it. XD
I also need to take some new pictures.
And I need to change my hair. Yes, again.
Well... that's about it. I suppose.
あぁ。。。久しぶりですね！
書きたい。
何も書きたいけど、分かりません。典型的だね。
実に物を作ります。服ばかりでなく髪型も。うん。。髪型が大好きです。。。 かつらを必要とするに買います。やってみる。（；－；）
たくさんお金をもらってだから、何もを作りたい。もう。。でもかつらやヘアアクセサリやかっこいいの物を作ります。。。うん。すると思います。髪形や服は同じじゃありますです。でも、おもしろい。ひとみです。ハハ
日本語は悪いです。。。じゃ、おやすみなさい。へへ |
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| Life |
[Jan. 5th, 2008|12:23 am] |
it all sucks. (I wish I was drunk...)
But anyways~
I got some new clothes. It's been a while. I'm too poor. Even if I work 24/7 (or so it seems). I got a Miho Matsuda shirt. Black Peace Now shirt (or two). BPN gloves. BPN ring & earrings. PIERROT tour shirt. Moi dix Mois phone strap. Despair armband & patches. BLOOD CD and TDC CD. (okay, not just clothes...)
I burned my tongue.
Oh.
And I hate people.
Don't contact me if you really don't care or whatever. |
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| I'm still alive. |
[Sep. 28th, 2007|10:38 pm] |
(even though I wish I wasn't~)
Holy fucking shit. I feel so horrible right now. Lately. In general. I don't know. I feel like, I don't even know what the fuck I feel like. I feel just like shit right now. I hate it. I think I've fallen back into depression again. I don't know. I just, hate myself. Again. So much. I just, wish I would die. I don't want to be here. I don't want to talk. I don't want to be seen. I have a fucking problem, don't I? Why can't I just...not feel anything? To not have to deal with people.
I am so unsatisfying. Even to myself. I hate me. It bothers me how I've been lately with someone that has been nothing but nice to me. Why am I having such a difficult time? What the fuck is bothering me? What is my fucking goddamn problem? Why am I so fucked up? Why are my feelings so unsteady? I hate how every single little thing pisses me off for almost no reason at all sometimes.
Am I just born not to care? Should I just run away from it all?
What do I exist for? Why do I even keep breathing?
And I'm back to where I started.
Evanescence- Breath no more
I've been looking in a mirror for so long
That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side.
All the little pieces falling, shatter
Shards of me too sharp to put back together;
Too small to matter,
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces
If I try to touch her
And I bleed,
I bleed
And I breathe,
I breathe no more.
Take a breath and I try to draw from my spirit's well.
Yet again you refuse to drink like a stubborn child.
Lie to me, convince me that I've been sick forever
And all of this will make sense when I get better.
But I know what the difference
Between myself and my reflection.
I just cant help to wonder,
Which of us do you love?
So I bleed,
I bleed
And I breathe,
I breathe no-
Bleed,
I bleed,
And I breathe,
I breathe
I breathe,
I breathe...no...more.
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| (no subject) |
[May. 3rd, 2007|12:05 pm] |
Wow. I haven't posted here for a long time. I guess I never felt compelled to write anything recent. Actually, that's quite a lie. Oh well.
It's not that I didn't have anything I wanted to write about, it's more like I never had the time to sit down and write it. True. And false.
Either way, I'm writing now and the fact that I wanted to write before, means little to nothing at all.
So the past two days, I came to realize how much I was depressed. It's like it hits all over again. I remember how hard it was. And how painful it felt. But at the same time, I was kind of relieved. It felt like I was being myself. When I'm enjoying my time, I feel as though it's unreal. Fake. Non-existing. It's all a lie.
And you know what...it is a lie.
It really is.
I've come to dislike myself all over again. It's never ending is it? I don't even know what to think or do..as always. When I think I can just forget how I really feel and think...and try to change, I can't. I'm thrown back into the darkness that I had grown up with. It's as if the shadows is sucking me in. Chasing me endlessly until they get what they want- my soul.
But you know, I think they had it all along.
So about these past couple of days, I felt like crying so much. But guess what? Not a single tear came out. I can't cry. I discovered that. I know inside, I wanted to cry so much, and I -did- let it out...but nothing came out. I wonder if that's a good thing. Honestly though, I think I feel less human now....knowing that I can't. I guess that's a step towards what I wanted, right? Not being human.
But I can't keep thinking that.
I met someone. Who is special to me. But at the same time, kind of drives me to the edge. I think I also cut a special relationship with someone that I had.... that person doesn't talk with me much anymore. Not at all... I will call this person "Hitori". This person, Hitori, that I had been so close with... and when I decide to make a change, Hitori didn't seem to mind. I won't lie- I'm surprise Hitori took it well... maybe too well? It makes me think that there was something missing all along... what a shame... and since then, I think I've talked to Hitori for about 5 minutes, twice online. It's been a while.... I think we live in completely different worlds now. In fact, now that I think about it, we always did. I know now, that it was just another scam. To get pity from me.... I'm sick of humans and their selfishness. Do we not care about each other enough to care? I wonder....
Now this new person, I will call this person "kei". Kei is really awesome and is quite a positive person. Kei kind of compliments my negativeness and all. kei gives me 'power' to be stronger and a better person. But at the same time, kei makes me sad.
Anyways...
I'm going to finish this here. I'll write again later.... (not today though) |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 19th, 2007|01:05 pm] |
| [ | Where Hitomi needs to runaway from |
| | home | ] |
| [ | Depression bites hard |
| |  content-ish | ] |
| [ | Loud noises fill my head? |
| | none | ] |
So last night after work, I went to the 90's with my friend David-kun! We had so much fun~ we also went with his co-worker...Jocelyn. (Err... however you spell her name~) I wore a more rave-ie outfit more than anything, it was my 6 3/4" platforms with blue furry legwarmers and a matching skirt. A silver halter-like top but with straps on it. I headed over to David's house around 6:45 pm-ish. I thought he lived close, but guess not that close. Oh well... we just hung around until almost 9 to pick up his co-worker. And then we headed over to the 90's listening to Gwen Stefani. Luckily we got there with no problem because none of us knew exactly how to get there. Yesterday, they were have a Drag Pageant, which meant we had to pay an extra $5 to get it. Oh well, it wasn't too much. We were suppose to meet up with a couple of other people, Amanda and Travis. I told Dieper that I was going to the 90's earlier and she said she was going too. So I did get to see here there! We waited around until almost 10 pm for the Pageant to take place. The host was talking to us all before the pageant on stage and mentioned how she (italicized because she is a drag) wanted to introduce someone that she saw earlier wearing something really cool/interesting. So she got off the stage and started walking around in the crowd and said, "She was wearing this bright blue furry pants." And I immediately gasped and put my hand to my mouth. And David & his co-worker looked at me and smiled. The people around me were pointing in my direction to lead her over to me. So she took me up by the stage and talked about me and asked me questions. I'm actually pretty shy so I was kind of scared being up there! Well, then she let me go and started the pageant! At around 11 pm or so, we decided to check out some the dance floors to see if there was any traffic (it was completely dead when we got there around 9 pm). We found Amanda in the rave room with his friend(s?). And danced there for a while. The rave room wasn't as populated, but I wish it was. I like raves and techno-ish music... mmmm... I got up on stage with David and Amanda and we were all dancing. Jocelyn wasn't into the rave area and she seemed really upset about it. But we were just dancing away. It's so funny because David really does get into dancing like he said he does. hehe I ended up dancing a lot with Amanda, David, Dieper, and her friend (Megan maybe??) a lot in the rave room. But then David, Jocelyn, and I decided to go check out the other dance room to see if there were people there. (This room played a lot of music you would hear on the radio.) There were people, so we went to the corner and starting dancing. I guess this was more of the music that Jocelyn listens to because she was actually having fun and David wanted to dance on one of the blocks in the room, but there was a guy who was dancing there like crazy and shaking his ass. *lol*
We just danced near a couple of blocks though so if someone get off we could get on. And someone did so David and I got on and danced together. We danced for like 3 hours straight. I was getting tired, but I didn't want to stop! There was one guy in particular, his name was Matt (I believe...), he tried to hook up with me and I was thinking like: Uhhh..nooooo. I don't come here to find someone. I come here to have fun. He kept dancing with me and trying to get down on me and I was like trying to dance with David so David totally got the message (thank god) and got in between that guy and me. *lol* (David, you are such a lifesaver<3 *million kisses*) Side note: it was really funny.... because that guy was like making conversation while dancing and he said to me, "I'm not interested in your friends." And later I told David what he said and this is what David said:
What a jackass!
I knew that mofo wasn't gay.
Mwahaha
I'm glad we dumped his ass.
*rofl*
So around 1:30 am, we decided to leave because we didn't want to get caught up in traffic. Well, we also got kind of lost downtown because of the stop one ways!!! But it was really funny when David kept going any direction when we were on one way streets!!!! It would've been so much more dangerous if there were actually other cars on the road, but we're lucky that there wasn't!
I got home around 2:30 am "last night" and David got home around 3 since he had to drive us both back home. Glad he got home safely!
And now! I am officially on Spring Break! That's probably the only day I will ever go out this week though! Because I need to get my things ready for this weekend coming up!!
Now I'm off to make things again!!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 17th, 2007|07:38 pm] |
So, I'm a bit upset about myself, but, I suppose it's okay. It's not a new thing to me. Sometimes I want to just, lose everyone, because, I feel as if my existence does not concern anyone else. I haven't thought about my life really. ( at least not lately) And I think that has helped me because i don't get depressed about everything. (Even though I still am, I just don't think about it or pay attention to it.) I guess I just go along with whatever I have planned. I would love to get my clothing line out, but I fear that I am not good enough at making things. I also lack ambition sometimes. (Or should I saya lot of times~)
I think I'm very unhappy with my life. But I am too stupid ( and probably lazy) to change it. Or perhaps I am too weak....
I felt empty last night when I went to bed like, "What the hell is going on right now? I feel like I'm not even doing anything right now (as I lay myself into bed)." I guess things will always be the same. I will still be unhappy in the next few years. I wonder if I can ever tell someone who I really feel. Wait, scratch that idea- I don't have anyone in the first place. I can scream my despair out and no one would hear. (Or even more realisticly, they would turn the other way.) I guess this is what living is....
I don't think anyone really understands how dettached I am. Someone real close to me said that I don't know a lot about that person at all. It's really heart-breaking to hear that from that particular person, but half the time I just think, "Well, then why don't you jjust fucking tell me then and stop saying that!" What do people think when they say taht to someone anyways?!? How am I suppose to know if you don't even tell me! Just stop saying that kind of shit and just tell me then. Geez~~~ what do you want me to do?? I'm not going to try and force it out of you. If you want me to know or understand then just tell me alreayd. I'll mostlikely tell you to tell me about it and you'll just say that you want to tell me, but later. What's the fucking point of bringing it up in the first place if you're not going to deal with it right now? Ughhh!
Leave me the fuck alone if that's the case!
Anyways...
I'm trying to make things for my clothing line. So, I guess I'd better go and do that! |
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| Huhhh |
[Feb. 15th, 2007|10:30 am] |
So, I'm getting ready for Melancholy's debut.
It's a littles stressful.
I'm actually behind on making things, but I am really trying. ;-;
I wish I could have some days to just make things all day. Actually next Monday I can. I wish I could Wednesday too, but I have to go to a stupid mandatory meeting. Dummmbbbbbb.... -_-
Oh well....
That's all my update for this time.
I know I haven't updated in a long time. |
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| i'm tired |
[Dec. 15th, 2006|05:00 pm] |
| [ | Where Hitomi needs to runaway from |
| | the dungeon | ] |
| [ | Depression bites hard |
| | dead & nothing | ] |
| [ | Loud noises fill my head? |
| | PIERROT - Cocoon | ] |
...of everything...
i hate everything
i wish everything would disappear
i wish everything didn't exist
i don't like this world
i hate every single living, breathing, consuming motherfucking piece of shit in this fucking universe
i'm faling so much...more and more..
and it's never ending
i even fall, when i'm not aware of it
slow and sickly....
i don't care about anything and i wish everything would leave me alone.
i hate people. i hate computers. i hate thinking. i hate "love". i hate hating. everything is so useless.
i don't care about having "nice" things. i have a tv, i have a computer, i have a cd player, i have whatever. and they're not good. they may be old or new. it doesn't matter. who fucking cares about some high-speed fucking system that gets you nothing.
i wish i didn't know anything. i wish i was blind. i wish i couldn't think.
i'm so fucking sick of everything and i would just like to leave everything.
i could walk away...
leaving behind everything...
and over time, it would be normal, as if i didn't have any trace in this world.
i want to just die.
but i can't....why.....
p.s. did you know that wishes never come true? |
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| i'm not even living anymore |
[Nov. 25th, 2006|08:18 pm] |
today was so completely shitty beyond belief. i don't think i should've worked today. i couldn't get myself to be nice at all. i didn't want to be nice. i didn't want to fake anything. i just wanted to be left alone. i didn't want to ask people how the fuck they were because i really didn't care. i didn't even want to say hi to anyone. i worked diligently but i wasn't at all the nicest person to deal with. i didn't care. i don't care. i'm so sick of everything. i wish i could just sink into the floor and rest there forever. i wish i could erase everything in my life. i wish i could go back to when nothing matter, and killed myself off before anyone even knew i existed. because then..no one would care. no one would know. even i, wouldn't know me.
i wish i could escape from myself. from everything. from all the damn things that slowly kill me here.
i don't want to be living anymore. i really don't. i'm like a restless soul here. i don't even belong here.
i don't belong anywhere....
i was serious last time...
leave. me. the. fuck. alone. |
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| inner turmoil |
[Nov. 20th, 2006|07:43 pm] |
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everything is so..fucking..disgusting... |
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| I wish.... |
[Nov. 18th, 2006|09:20 pm] |
for the strangling of my neck
and to hear the snap
ringing loudly in my ears
and then,
i'll feel no more |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 16th, 2006|02:02 pm] |
I want to scream at you
with all that's left in me
and I hope I rip you to pieces
making you bleed every lie
Insignificantly, we can die
quickly and unnoticed
As our strength is drained from us
If there was only one person to lament
maybe things wouldn't be so bad
but it's fake
it's not there
Come forth from shadows
and we'll weep with sorrow
I know this much,
we can die
--Hitomi |
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| r.u.n.n.i.n.g. a.w.a.y. |
[Nov. 13th, 2006|09:39 am] |
| [ | Where Hitomi needs to runaway from |
| | home | ] |
| [ | Loud noises fill my head? |
| | none | ] |
It awoke by the haunting of another prosthetic day. It knew in an instant as it's eyes shot wide awake, it will encounter the endless pain that has passed by for the past nineteen years. And though it has not been able to escape from the rusty cage, it knows that maybe someday, it will wither away and all would lay motionless. Though one never forgets about the ones that cared. It is aware that it will never remain more than a figment in the mechanical minds. As the days pass, it's feeling of nothingness will grow and grow, until finally- everything disappears........... |
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| yays drown! |
[Nov. 8th, 2006|01:37 pm] |
| [ | Where Hitomi needs to runaway from |
| | school | ] |
| [ | Loud noises fill my head? |
| | the thoughts running through my head | ] |
I'm really.....dead...
I feel so angry all the time lately...but not the kind of angry that you'd normally feel. This anger is like...an anger that makes you want to scratch at your stomach and pry it open with your own fingers.... feeling the pain of your nails digging deep into your skin... watching blood escape onto the surface of your skin... and want to just destroy everything inside...
I feel the word "anger" is the best way to describe how I feel these days... how I just detest everything around me...but yet, I don't care...
I think a lot....about how fucking pissed off I am and what I don't want to do...and how much I don't feel like talking..and if I don't talk- people get mad at me.
Is there any escape from this wrath of people? I'm quite sick of it all....
And, lastly..... uhhh... I just don't feel like anything....
I want to get up from my desk and shove everything off it, toss it, and walk out of the classroom. And when that's all going on, I'll scream silently in my head because I'd like to keep my minimal vocals that I often have. |
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| poison me |
[Oct. 4th, 2006|08:00 pm] |
i sleep forever
and
endlessly
tears will streak my face |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 2nd, 2006|02:28 am] |
| [ | Where Hitomi needs to runaway from |
| | home | ] |
| [ | Depression bites hard |
| | Hitomi will let you guess | ] |
| [ | Loud noises fill my head? |
| | none | ] |
Hitomi..is going to seek refugee in pain now..... |
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| insanity |
[Oct. 1st, 2006|08:56 pm] |
FUCK IT ALL |
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| can you see me? |
[Oct. 1st, 2006|08:00 pm] |
ugh, Hitomi, you sicken Hitomi so much. You fucking piece of ....useless....shitty..damn....weak...fucker. This is what Hitomi wants to say to you:
Dear Hitomi,
Have you tried killing yourself lately? Because you really should be dead right now. You're a fucking dumbfuck who shouldn't be alive. If I were you, I'd go and get a gun and blow your fucking brain to pieces. If you need something easier to get, go buy some strong rope and do yourself a favor. There are quite sturdy beams in your basement, no? I hate you so much, and you hate yourself more than anything. Just leave. Just leave this place that you don't belong to. You don't exist anyways. You're just a shadow to everyone. Why the fuck did you even try?
I'm sure you're tired of wearing that fucking mask of yours right? Go get drunk out of your mind and jump from a bridge onto the highway. You know you want to do it. You want to be gone.
Don't try to confide in someone.... there is no one there. Even the people you thought were there, they don't give a fuck about someone so insignificant as you. Just fade away. No one will ever know. No one.
Insincerely,
xxHitomi |
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